Botox for the Wrinkled Blessing Psyche

Have you ever noticed how Thanksgiving day can often feel a bit like that special time right before church when you teeter precariously between the love of God and potential homicide (mostly involving unruly offspring)?

Ah yes, a lovely holiday designed to allow all of us to express genuine moments of gratitude. Yep, that’s how it started, but some turkey farmer took a course in marketing and the holiday morphed into something about as unattainable as three dollar bills. 

The special day arrives and invariably we find that a favorite recipe calls for more items than we have available and the only store opened charges only slightly less that the national debt for things like corn starch. Many times it is whole families that converge on one home and the host family is left with no place to go when they need a good cry. The television is set on ‘consistent blither’, although the only programs worth watching seem to be a fishing show and a football game, the rest of the programs seem steeped in another holiday altogether.

Between the lack of personal space and that unusual smell that seems to coincide with family closeness, someone suggests a strategic plan for the day after Thanksgiving sales. Uncles mumble and occasionally grunt as football players run back and forth on a pretty little pasture. Mostly they just hope they won’t have to chauffeur the following day. If they refuse to pay attention they can claim ignorance.

Someone is dissatisfied with the sleeping arrangements, one nephew is in trouble for picking on the youngest, and a sister really thinks you should have had tofu turkey.

It’s amazing that holidays can become irresistible stress magnets. We promise ourselves that we won’t let the stress get to us, yet we fly into the holiday as if our entire psyche has had one too many Botox injections and we probably won’t resemble our old selves till St. Patrick’s Day.

A few years ago I was left to consider the concept of thanksgiving at a time when I wasn’t ready for some football, and turkeys were still hanging out at the feed trough telling chicken jokes. Nope, this was smack dab in the middle of summer and I found myself understanding the idea of thanksgiving better than I ever had before.

All I had to do was pay attention to the things that I was grateful for and then let the person responsible know that I was obliged. Seemed simple enough.

“Thanks for checking me out.”

“This is a grocery store and it’s my job, sir.”

“OK - thanks for taking the job. Without you being here to check me out I might be tempted to walk out with it, so thanks for saving me from a life of crime.”

“Security!”

Some experiences actually went better. In fact, there were several people that were profoundly overwhelmed that someone would take notice of something they had done. It was clear that many of these people had never been thanked before and it changed the way they looked at the rest of the day. Some thought I was joking and then seemed confused when there didn’t seem to be a punch line.

No football, no eating myself into a stupor, no stressful moment - just a few words of appreciation and my day was as close to perfect as they come.

The Old Testament is filled with moments where a father would bless his son. Jesus spent much time investing in the lives of those with whom He came in contact. He encouraged us to bless our enemies and not to curse them (I Peter 3:9).

If we have such examples that range from blessing our kids to blessing a rude brother-in-law, then extending a blessing to those we rarely come in contact with seems to make sense too. 

The strange thing is you think you’re doing it for them but something happens to you that will amaze and astound.

Oh, and if you really want turkey you can always invite the guy that takes your groceries to the car to the deli for a smoked turkey sub with whatever fixings he wants - then invite him to the park so you can throw the pig skin for awhile. On second thought, maybe he’d take it better if you just said thanks.

Sing Once More For Me

Note: I have had a couple of friends who spent years in the pastorate and after retirement they moved to ministering in nursing homes. Recently Betty Jo left her beloved Don after 60 years of marriage. It was this beautiful soul that inspired this poem. Maybe you know someone like Betty Jo - maybe you are someone like Betty Jo - someone who helps others focus on their future.  

She sits all alone

Her eyes appear vacant

She reacts to no one

Her mind seems distant

Life has been long

Health issues malicious

A bed and a wheelchair

She won't long be with us

But then a merry soul

Paid a visit one day

And sang an old hymn

As old Clara lay

Clara's eyes came in focus

And the tears filled and fell

And she joined in the song

A joyful praise from soul’s well

The nurses can’t believe

The song they are hearing

She has uttered no words

For a year or so nearing

A brilliant smile remains

Lingering after the song

Her mind fixed on Jesus

She’ll see His face before long

While her body seems useless

Her soul still communes

She holds loosely to life

Waiting for one final boon

And it comes in the end

Despite expressions of sorrow

Her soul has found rest

With no earthly tomorrow 

Eternity with Jesus

Following her longest night

Her body is whole

Her spirit is light

"I knew You would come."

She says with a smile

"I waited and remembered

And You came after awhile."

"True, dear daughter,

It’s you I’ve been waiting to see.

I heard your sweet voice, 

Now daughter, sing once more for Me."

- Glenn Hascall -

Different – With Purpose

My wife and I are nothing alike. She notices things I never do. She is a detail person. She is a bright shiny light of goodness.

I am analytical and can sometimes be messy. I am a detail person when it comes to any project I am working on, but that might mean I can lose sight of other things for a time. I tend to be an introvert.

I used to think an introverted person was someone who didn't like people and didn't like to talk. Introverts were shy people, right? My view was challenged in a few recent articles I've read. Introverts are less willing to engage in small talk. If they talk they want it to mean something. They might be engaged in very public work, but when it's all done they need some alone time to recharge. They can be the life of the party, but they don't automatically seek it.

Introverts tend to be creative and can be easily misunderstood. Some may think an introvert is snobby because they can be quiet or because they may seek a place to get away from it all. Introverts aren't necessarily interested in impressing other people, but they are interested in creating things that can impact other people.

My wife used to be very shy, but I don't think she was an introvert. Today it is so easy for her to start a conversation and keep it going. People like being around her. She makes others laugh and feel comfortable. She makes me very proud to be her husband.

It would be easy for me to simply hide away after my work is done for the day, but Nancy has been God's perfect gift. Over the years she continues to encourage me to live outside my comfort zone. We've been good for each other. Neither of us are the same people we were when we met more than 30 years ago – and that's OK. I think both of us are more like the people God intended us to be. Imperfect to be sure, but God has been consistent in shaping us as we cooperate with His plan.

In some ways we are very much alike. We are very interested in how we raise our kids. We want to be very intentional about following God. We want to make the choice to love each other even when we disagree.

Nancy is my best friend. My best conversations are with her. My happiest moments are just being with her. We have a couple of days a week when we go out for a cup of hot cocoa or a meal. These are some of our favorite moments of the week.

All of us bring good things and bad into a marriage. We may want to be as compatible with the other person as we can, but in the end God can reshape two very different people into a couple that can't imagine living life without each other.

“...a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 (NIV)

I think God makes us different with great purpose. If we were all alike we would be incredibly bored. There would be no mystery, no need to learn, no curiosity. When we learn how we are different we can learn how those differences can compliment the relationship. This works not only in marriage, but in friendships as well.

No matter how different you may feel God has a place where only you fit.

Restoration in Progress

Last fall I went out to my garage, took a leaf blower, and removed offending tree remnants from the concrete floor. A day later? Who could tell.

When our children were small, my wife would pick up after them all the time. When they were asleep the house looked nice. In the morning? Not so much.

We all go from assignment to assignment in the hopes that at some point we get ahead of the potential disaster that seems ready to pounce on our inattention.

The Second Law of Thermodynamics is – in it's basic understanding – a bit like taking a casserole and putting it in the oven hoping to achieve a final temperature of 350 degrees. Once achieved the casserole is removed and placed on the counter. Does it stay 350 degrees? No. It cools to room temperature if you don't either apply more energy to heat or cool it.

In the privacy of your own home you can apply the Second Law of Thermodynamics to so many things. Mom's pick up after kids because the alternative is chaos. We remove leaves from our garages because we appreciate order. But to give up applying energy to anything means that it cools to room temperature. The heat leaves it. It begins to decay.

When we give up, someone has to either pick up what we left - or what we worked for becomes dust.

God's 'heat' will be applied to our lives. We feel the scorch and it's uncomfortable. But perhaps this is God's way of saying, “Hey, I'm not giving up on you.”

God invests in broken people. He keeps repairing, restoring, and applying heat so one day His investment in our future proves His love always outshone our lack.

Maybe this gives us a new perspective on why sometimes God applies pressure that feels uncomfortable. He wants our obedience to transform us into the new creations He promised. The struggle to adjust may be His way of removing the old to make way for the new.

When heat isn't applied to our lives we lose the ability to show compassion, discover real joy, and embrace the hope God offers. We generate our own heat, but that heat always leaves us cold. We mock people, embrace sarcasm, find hate easy to apply, and bitterness becomes easy to accept.

God's heat brings light and understanding. God's heat makes us wise. God's heat makes us better.

“Anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other. God put the world square with himself through the Messiah, giving the world a fresh start by offering forgiveness of sins. God has given us the task of telling everyone what he is doing. We’re Christ’s representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God’s work of making things right between them. We’re speaking for Christ himself now: Become friends with God; he’s already a friend with you.” 2 Corinthians 5:17-20 (MSG)

You can't restore a table without sanding the blemishes. You can't restore a car by simply painting rust. God can't restore you without applying energy to the end result that becomes willing to say, “He must become greater; I must become less.” John 3:30 (NIV)

The Christian life isn't self-help – it's God helping those who need help.